Own Your Power Now: Break Free From Drama

Damn responsibility! I knew there was going to be a catch.

I got the opportunity to process this when I was in Tennessee with my broken-down RV. Christmas was definitely not what I imagined when I started this journey. I was really thinking that “If I had my motorhome back, I would be happier,” or “If I was at my Uncle’s place,” things would be better. I, too, was stuck in the “If X, then Life Would Be Y” trap.

Now really, it isn’t my fault, and it isn’t yours either. We are bombarded with messages through books, movies, marketing, and TV that tell us this product, or being in this relationship, or having your life look this way will make it all better. The truth is, that true satisfaction happens in the moment and is independent of any outside stimulus.

For all that I didn’t experience that holiday, one thing that I have never experienced before on Christmas was spending time in a hammock watching a movie and not freezing my bits off. This is the part of the adventure I will choose to be satisfied with.

Taking Responsibility: A Jedi Cleric’s Perspective

As a Licensed Jedi Cleric and Certified Tantric Practitioner, I’ve come to understand the power of taking responsibility for our own experiences. It’s not about blame or guilt, but about recognizing our inherent power to shape our reality.

There are four levels of responsibility:

1. Denial: At this level, we believe life is happening to us. We feel like victims with no control or choice.
   
2. Acceptance: Here, we acknowledge our role in past events. This can involve feelings of guilt or shame, but it’s a step towards owning our power.
   
3. Present Moment Responsibility: We focus on how we react to situations in the present. This empowers us to influence outcomes and create the results we want.
   
4. 100% Responsibility: This is the ultimate level of empowerment. We recognize our interconnectedness with everything around us and proactively choose how we interact with the world.

Blame vs. Responsibility: Escaping the Victim Mindset

Blame and responsibility are often confused, but they represent vastly different mindsets. Blame keeps us stuck in victimhood, while responsibility empowers us to create change.

Blame:

• Focuses on the past.
• Seeks to identify fault.
• Often involves making yourself or others wrong.
• Diminishes our power to create change.
• Example: “My brother is the reason I haven’t finished this project. He should have helped me more.”

Responsibility:

• Focuses on the present moment.
• Acknowledges our role in a situation.
• Empowers us to take action.
• Opens up possibilities for growth and transformation.
• Example: “While I wish my brother had offered more support, I realize I could have asked for help or found alternative solutions. I am responsible for completing this project.”

The Drama Triangle: Damsels, Captains, and Dumpster Fires

Now, let’s explore how blame and responsibility play out within the drama triangle, and how recognizing these patterns can help us break free and create more fulfilling lives.

• Damsel in Distress (Trainwreck in Denial): These individuals are stuck in the victim mentality, believing they have no control over their lives. They often create chaos and drama, relying on others to rescue them and put out their dumpster fires. They are masters of blame, always pointing fingers at external circumstances or people.
  
• Captain Save-a-Ho: These individuals, fueled by a savior complex, are drawn to rescuing others, often at their own expense. They enable the Damsel’s behavior, reinforcing the cycle of dependency and drama. They may derive a sense of self-worth from being needed, but ultimately, they prevent the Damsel from taking responsibility and growing.
  
• Dumpster Fire: This represents the chaotic situations and drama that arise from the Damsel and Captain’s dynamic. It’s a constant cycle of crisis, blame, and temporary solutions that never address the root issue: the Damsel’s refusal to take responsibility.

Breaking Free from the Drama Triangle

To escape the drama triangle, we must each take responsibility for our own roles:

• Damsels: Shift from blame to responsibility. Recognize your power to make choices and influence outcomes. Seek support in healthy ways that empower you to grow, rather than fostering dependency.
  
• Captains: Set healthy boundaries. Offer support without enabling. Encourage Damsels to take responsibility for their own lives. Focus on your own needs and goals.
  
• Everyone: Become aware of the drama triangle dynamics in your own life and relationships. Consciously choose to step out of these roles and create healthier interactions.

You Are a Creator

Ultimately, you are the creator of your experience. You have the power to choose how you react and respond to every situation. By taking 100% responsibility, you can break free from drama, connect with your true purpose, and create a life filled with joy, fulfillment, and authentic connection.

May you feel the presence of the Force for the Force is Always With You!