The Most ___Time of the Year
The holidays are upon us, and our emotional landscapes are as varied as the winter weather. Some of us are apathetic, others overjoyed. Personally, I’ve been navigating a whirlwind of emotions. The anticipation of my upcoming trip, concerns about my parents’ health, and the pervasive grief that so many carry (a grief that’s become so normalized it’s almost indistinguishable from daily life) have all left their mark. While I empathize deeply, I find myself needing to create some emotional distance, to protect my own well-being amidst this sea of sorrow.
I feel incredibly fortunate to have a good relationship with my family. It’s a privilege, not a given. If your family gatherings are a source of stress or anxiety, please remember: that you don’t have to go. Protecting your peace is essential.
If you are like me and have a large family with all kinds of energy, and kids, and chaos there are a few things that really help me to enjoy these events, even when I am socially tapped.
It comes down to three segments:
Creating The Listening Before I Walk In
You’ve likely heard the adage that “what you focus on expands.” This applies not only to your external circumstances but also to your internal landscape — your thoughts about yourself, the people you interact with, and the world around you.
Personally, I ground myself in a strong sense of self, purpose, and values. Before stepping into the whirlwind of family gatherings, I make sure to meditate and reconnect with my best self. This empowers me to show up as a calm, centered presence rather than getting swept up in the chaos.
Additionally, I practice seeing the best in everyone I encounter. By taking a moment to mentally look them in the eye and remember why I love them, I envision their highest potential. This fosters a deeper connection and sets a positive tone for our interactions. I believe that people often rise to meet our expectations, and this practice helps me create a more positive and fulfilling experience for everyone involved.
I also have a few pre-planned statements ready for the questions that people are likely to ask like why I am not staying in Michigan, where I am off to next, and am I afraid of being alone.
At Dinner
If you have done the pre-work, things will probably be working pretty well here but there are a couple of things to remember. Your presence is a gift. Put the phone away. I promise the internet will still be there when you get done.
If things do get tense then there are three steps to maintain your peace.
Stop and remember that you are not your thoughts.
Drop the need to be right or to understand.
Love – ask yourself how you can spread love in this moment.
Finally, one last trick for presence from the Tantric Masters…
Take a deep breath through your nose. Notice which nostril you are breathing out of? Is it your right nostril filling you with active energy, the left nostril filling you with passive energy, or both equally allowing the balance?
Happy Thanksgiving from everyone here at the Orange Dragonfly Center.
